What do I know now?
01/28/10 13:57
Some years ago on a Sunday morning, the Peanuts comic strip was especially memorable. Lucy said to Charlie Brown, “Charlie, Don’t you wish you go back and do everything over, knowing what you know now?” For several frames, Charlie’s brow is furrowed as he thinks about Lucy’s question. Finally he responds, “But what do I know now?”
My mother got thyroid cancer when I was about 12 years old. I can remember thinking that I was glad she was a grownup and would take the whole thing in stride. At the time, I couldn’t even imagine that adults could experience fear. I thought that when I grew up, I’d never experience feelings like self-doubt, fear, uncertainty, or struggle with self-worth. I thought adults had life all figured out.
Now I find myself asking Charlie’s question: But what do I know now?
For about 20 years, my consulting and training has focused on emotional intelligence. I’ve written a couple of books with EQ, as emotional intelligence is often referred to, as the focus. I haven’t written a book for a while and I keep having these nagging thoughts about another book within me that wants to be written…but it hasn’t revealed itself to me yet so I not exactly sure what I am to write about.
I am starting this blog to put some thoughts down in writing. I have no illusions about drawing a large body of readers. But I do know this…if I write as if someone will read these words, I’ll write with greater discipline. I’ll also discover how comfortable I might be with the book that I think is waiting to be written. Because I think I need to write about my own struggles with becoming, sometimes in ways that still surprise and dismay me.
The development of EQ begins with self-awareness. One of our greatest challenges is to see ourselves as others see us. Perhaps an even greater challenge is to become aware of a body of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, unquestioned assumptions, and life lessons that influence our choices and behaviors each and every day, usually in ways that we aren’t even aware of what is influencing us at the time.
I think the book that wants to be written is about the never ending process of self-discovery that life becomes if we pay attention to it. I am often amazed at a sudden flash of insight that comes when I discover how some early life lesson or unquestioned assumption has been influencing the person I am and the choices I’ve been making all these years. If I had only been more self-aware, I might well have made different choices and influenced the unfolding of my life’s journey in ways that will now forever remain unknown to me.
So what do I know now?
Given I make my living helping people develop new insights and expand their own self-awareness, how comfortable will I be writing about the demons and self-doubts that plague me yet today…all issues I thought I’d have figured out by now? How willing will I be to drop the cloak of competence and enter into my personal work with EQ, knowing full well that my clients will know that this is an ongoing journey of self-discovery for me, just as it is for them?
So I embark on this with the same question that I have every time I’ve started a book…Will anyone ever read this? But for my purposes, the answer to that question is less important than the act of sitting down to write to see if I have another book in me or not.
A request: I am new to blogging and don’t know much about syndicating blogs, setting up RapidWeaver preferences so people can respond to me, and some of the other things my preference settings refer to, such as Echo and JS-KIT. If you can help school me on blogging, I’ve love to have a phone conversation with you.
My mother got thyroid cancer when I was about 12 years old. I can remember thinking that I was glad she was a grownup and would take the whole thing in stride. At the time, I couldn’t even imagine that adults could experience fear. I thought that when I grew up, I’d never experience feelings like self-doubt, fear, uncertainty, or struggle with self-worth. I thought adults had life all figured out.
Now I find myself asking Charlie’s question: But what do I know now?
For about 20 years, my consulting and training has focused on emotional intelligence. I’ve written a couple of books with EQ, as emotional intelligence is often referred to, as the focus. I haven’t written a book for a while and I keep having these nagging thoughts about another book within me that wants to be written…but it hasn’t revealed itself to me yet so I not exactly sure what I am to write about.
I am starting this blog to put some thoughts down in writing. I have no illusions about drawing a large body of readers. But I do know this…if I write as if someone will read these words, I’ll write with greater discipline. I’ll also discover how comfortable I might be with the book that I think is waiting to be written. Because I think I need to write about my own struggles with becoming, sometimes in ways that still surprise and dismay me.
The development of EQ begins with self-awareness. One of our greatest challenges is to see ourselves as others see us. Perhaps an even greater challenge is to become aware of a body of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, unquestioned assumptions, and life lessons that influence our choices and behaviors each and every day, usually in ways that we aren’t even aware of what is influencing us at the time.
I think the book that wants to be written is about the never ending process of self-discovery that life becomes if we pay attention to it. I am often amazed at a sudden flash of insight that comes when I discover how some early life lesson or unquestioned assumption has been influencing the person I am and the choices I’ve been making all these years. If I had only been more self-aware, I might well have made different choices and influenced the unfolding of my life’s journey in ways that will now forever remain unknown to me.
So what do I know now?
Given I make my living helping people develop new insights and expand their own self-awareness, how comfortable will I be writing about the demons and self-doubts that plague me yet today…all issues I thought I’d have figured out by now? How willing will I be to drop the cloak of competence and enter into my personal work with EQ, knowing full well that my clients will know that this is an ongoing journey of self-discovery for me, just as it is for them?
So I embark on this with the same question that I have every time I’ve started a book…Will anyone ever read this? But for my purposes, the answer to that question is less important than the act of sitting down to write to see if I have another book in me or not.
A request: I am new to blogging and don’t know much about syndicating blogs, setting up RapidWeaver preferences so people can respond to me, and some of the other things my preference settings refer to, such as Echo and JS-KIT. If you can help school me on blogging, I’ve love to have a phone conversation with you.